Tests & Trials

I envy the people that get everything handed to them so easily sometimes. Granted I work for everything that I have so I am humble and grateful for those things. At the same time, I just wish that some things were just easier. I can't seem to ever pass math. I seem to always fail math tests, math classes, math anything. I studied my butt off, I don't care who believes me or not. I prayed so much to pass this stupid test. I find each time though sittingg in my car just crying out of pure disappointment. Why can I do everythig else? Why is it only math that I cannot seem to grasp? I am so sick of there being one thing after the other. I feel like it is always something. I feel like I never get a breath in-between all these tests and trials. I finally deal with a problem and moments later there is something else. I feel like slowly I am just losing faith and that scares me. I am so broken, not sure why the devil won't just leave me alone. Can't he see I am so run down into the dirt that I literally have nothing left? I feel like I wouldn't even know how to be happy again. It's been so long since I could just think, 'hey life is great, no worries'. I don't get that luxury at all. I am so torn, so broken down. So depressed, I literally have nothing left. I am so dry. I need the spirit to just pour down on me. The only thing that pours down are my tears, I feel I won't even be able to cry anymore because I'll run out of those too. I am so ready for peace. I have absolutely no peace. I need a spiritual outpouring. Just needed to get my thoughts out.